The idea pretty much speak for itself. Many has said that the only constant thing in this world is change. I am pretty much totally with others with this. The only question is how do you want to face change?

As I get older, I feel/see that accepting change is getting harder and harder. I spent few months on contemplating what’s going on in my mind that I can’t accept a change well just as I had last time. Guessed that “empty glass, half-filled glass and full-filled glass” theory really apply here. It’s perhaps that my bases, my built has been getting bigger and stronger; that with a change, shaking the bigger foundation has just gone harder.

Change in a way as Challenge

I see that sometimes change comes mostly as a challenge. With us getting harder to accept the change, it just makes us feel that the challenge has just somewhat goes even crazier. A dear friend of mine once said: “Challenge is like a barrier, a wall. You could say that the height of the wall represent the level of difficulties. It’s your choice, on whether you are running along the wall; or you climb those freaking wall and see the whole new world behind that wall.”

The analogy pretty much round up everything. When you picked to run along the wall, you decided that you are enough at that point. Let the world change outside that wall, but you’ll stay there, because it’s already your comfort zone. When you choose to climb those wall and started to see the other wall, you decided that you want to accept the change, see the whole new things.

I used to think that climbing the wall is something I must do. That’s the only thing to improve myself; while running along is just basically a coward thing to do. But as I am typing this piece of words, I see that no choice are incorrect. Those who choose to run along the wall might have been satisfied with what they already achieved. Those who choose to run along the wall perhaps because they has found a new path to new wall, new things to be dig further. It’s just not the same wall as what you’ve faced. For them, it is not the wall they are facing, it is the crossing path that they are seeing; perhaps they are just choosing to have another way of life.

I came to realize that I am still taking this straight road, combating and climbing with the walls. At this state, I want to change the current “level” I am at; I want an “upgrade”. But the demons of climbing are never easy; it’s not easy but it doesn’t necessarily dull. It has its moment, and revelation of what you’ve come across. How high you’ve actually climbed those walls, how far you are actually from the ground level. Sometimes, it change you as a cocky person. Sometimes, it helped you to be a humble person. You just have to be reminded that every people is fighting on different walls, different paths. The change in other could impact on you, but you can always choose, on whether you want to change toward their direction, or differently. None are wrong, none are correct; no judgment can be done as we all have different dreams.


The Best Way of Comparing

Hey, it’s been a while since I wrote something here. It’s been a roller coaster journey in the past month, travelled from one place to another, having a Christmas dinner with friends and family. First time spending my Christmas and New Year without being at hometown and surrounded by mom, dad, sister, and brother (but it kind of fun too, you know – I am still missing them though).

Funny thing is, I re-read my blog just now; and well, I learned that somehow my own writing kept reminding me of what I am and what I am supposed to be. Here’s another point of view and story about comparing things:


I am kind of having this bad habit of having a prejudice on things. Of course, prejudice is not coming in a blink of eyes. It came from your own experience, what you’ve done, and what you feel around. Back then, I remembered my mom commented on some cousins who is mature enough to be married. She said: “your cousin is adding age each year, and yet, she hasn’t got married yet. It will be really difficult for her to find a husband.” and then she add: “being on that age, she already have everything she needs, a house, a steady income, good position at work, etc. and this would prevent men to get close to her; as men will feel ‘intimidated'”.

Based on what my mom told me, when I am already at workplace, I think I am going to twist it. I’ll say back then, it is probably not only the men felt intimidated, but it came from my cousins as well, who (I am quite sure) with the additional age and experience each years, will have higher and higher standard. She would compare man to man. The more she get to know a person, the higher the expectation are. As each of the men give a different standard.


Oh yes, it happened to me. Just. Now. And to rethink of it, I was being selfish – TOTALLY selfish. I am doing no justice comparing based on somebody is doing this, and I expect somebody else is doing the same thing as well. I have forgotten that actually, every people are unique in their own way, and they might do something differently, but perhaps they still have the same main goal.

I am setting expectation only based on the ‘maximum’ I’ve ever experienced to everything else. When it doesn’t meet the expectation, I would think that they are not good enough. Oh yes, I am very prejudicial, and really realizing that bad habit. But when I am at the lowest point, I tend to not thinking rationally (I know, this is reason, but I need to be defensive a lil’ bit, too right?). So, I was expecting somebody else do the same, and apparently he didn’t. I was somehow get mad, I talked to another friends about how disappointed I was. After half an hour chanting, whining, and complaining to my friend; I decided to see what this “somebody-else-who-disappoint-me” said in the chat box. Apparently, that particular person have the same goal with what I expected, but that particular person did it in a different way. And to be honest, when I tried to be more open-minded on how these people do things differently, apparently, I am being a better person.


So (am getting serious here 😛 *just kidding*), when you’re comparing things, make sure you’ve the right proportions on pros and cons to be compared. You’ll do justice if you tried to think neutral, instead of taking side on what you’ve preferred. Do justice, everybody need a fair justification.


Karawaci, 3 January 2012 – first post on new year, first bad mood, and got boosted to positive by reading my previous post. 🙂

btw, my cousin did finally get her soulmate 🙂

Too Much Compliments Kill

We’ve heard a lot said “too much never do you good”, well I cannot agree more. This time, I was drunk with too much compliments, which almost killed my sense.


A month has passed for the new journey here. Just before I moved, some of the directors in the previous company talked to me. Most of them talking about how good I am, and it would be a great loss for them if I moved to the new place. As previous, I was flattered, and still kept in mind that I need to be down to earth, because there are just lots of better people out there. Then I entered to the new work: first week was great, second through one month; I was like bumping here and there confused about what to do and how to do. In between, the new superior of mine talked to me that, she is expecting much from me. She has heard a lot of me, and (again) it is the good one. Of course, automatically, she set higher expectation with the standard already given there.

I talked to my friend, that I was scared that I might not go through that expectation, as I wasn’t that good. That compliments are just overrated. Enough saying, the truth is I became cocky; as other said, you’re saying “No, I wasn’t that good” just to make other compliment you more. Unconsciously, I was doing all those stupid things. HA! Bad habit of mine.


It comes today, suddenly, out of no where, I realized: I tried too hard to not be me; by trying to change my style in order to get to my superior’s expectation. And I realized (again out of no where), I have just to be me. That’s what they talked about previously about how good I am right? Perhaps, if somebody’s saying “Hey, you’re good”; I’ll try to answer thank you and humble instead. That way, I guess I will manage the compliments I received right? So, I won’t get cocky and fly to the moon without looking to the earth.


Well, I am lying, it doesn’t come out of no where, actually, today I talked to my best friends. One is the best mentor I’ve ever had, one is the irreplaceable friend I found in my first job. The funny things are we don’t talked about what kind of situation I had, what my work is, or what I am feeling right now. We are just talking nonsense, basic regular things as we talked in the past times. From talking my ex-colleagues, how to manage new fresh graduate, or even relationship stuff. In funny way, God gives me a sign that I am better when I am “normal”. And He gave me the talks to be normal with my friends.

After the talks with my friends, I realized, I DO need to follow the new company “rules”, I DO need to follow the way the new colleagues work, but I forgot that I am an unique individual as well. Who can have my own way if I think it is better than the current way, who can have my own decision to make, who is independent in both work and self. And I am really don’t need to think and assess the expectation too much. All I need to do is giving my best, despite of all expectation, be more proactive, and do the work with the best deliverable I can give. I guess that’s what’s all matter.


You see, it’s started from a simple compliments, by several people, in a consecutive days, and I am easily get cocky. I remembered one of my friend said, “You are a very arrogant, currently, in a good way. Because you’re proud of what you have, and what you are able to do. And with that arrogance you built a very high self-confidence. But beware, because the arrogance in a good way, is just an inch away from the bad one.” I was slipped, and getting to know that things are still the usual, I will try my hardest to crawl back to previous good one.

So, whenever there is too much, be always beware. Even if you beware, you can still get “killed”, but if you are brave enough to admit it, you will get through and survive.


Karawaci, November 30th, 2011.

Next Chapter’s Opening: First Week

Last week, I was all gloomy; who thought that a week passed by so fast? There is a quote saying that “every firsts are the hardest”. To think of that, it is true that parting ways with the “family” is hard; but learning new things is not hard. I would like to replace the word from “hard” into “interesting”.

On my previous trip to Bali, we went to Waterboom. Of course, there are a lot of tourists there: from adult, teens, kids, and even infants. In one of the ride’s queue, a cute little girl asked her dad: “Daddy, will it be scary?”, her father answered: “No, sweetheart, it will be FUN.” We practically smiled brightly for that father’s answer. It was her first time taking a quite extreme ride (well, we know that water park’s ride is usually a high slides) and her father had just change her mind set of seeing things.


I am using this method for the first week. I am not going to bluff out that I am not scared at all; to be honest, deep inside – it is really scary to have a new step. Especially when you are stepping it by your own. It has been a while that I feel secure inside a shell; I knew exactly the condition, the rules, and everything insides. But now, I really need to break the shell and moving on my own. BUT, I kept encouraging myself, the scary part could stay, as long as it is on the bottom rank of all feelings/moods I brought at the first day. That scary part cannot be removed, because it makes me human.

So, I stepped in, trying my best to show what I am capable of. And then, without me realizing, first day has finished, with quite a lot of introductions of the company basics. How’s the first day? Is it good? Let’s see, I went home without lacking on anything; ah, I survived the first day then :).


Then, second day came, in the morning, I was asked to join the meeting with my previous company (basically, my previous work place is the best market research company in Indonesia for retails; currently, my company is one of my previous company’s biggest clients). This is really interesting, to sit down in different side of point of view. I was forced to switch the view fast, from the agency side, to the client side. The level of challenge had just increased 1 points *getting excited*. At noon, it turns out there is another training on “Shopper Behavior”; as soon as the training finished, another few points – again – just added for the challenge’s level.

Somehow, third day has became the “welcoming day” for me, as suddenly, my help was needed as the previous handler was over loaded; and there was sudden request there. That day, was the first for me having lunch and working at the same time. No matter how busy I was, I was able to manage my lunch time, but that day, it was totally out of control. I am not proud of it, and obviously not making it as a habit. But, you know, it was urgent. When I got back home that day, I just realized that my eyes are really tired of looking those numbers. Funny thing was again, this is interesting.


Along this week, my colleague explained in a very great structured way (I respect her a lot of making this new things easier for me to learn) about every job’s routine that need to be done along the year. The more she talk, the more I am confused. The more I confused, the more I curious. The more I curious, the more I am getting excited. It’s like we are looking at the new toys, even though we have played with the small part of the toys, as the toys are bigger now, there are a lot of new parts to be played with. Here’s the reality, yes, I am getting more scared, with the thought of: “What if I cannot do it? What if I cannot perform?”, but again, I realized that others survived, which means I will be as well.

I just need to change my mind set to: “It will be FUN” 🙂



Karawaci, 28 October 2011 on opening week of the next chapter in life.


Objective and Satisfaction

Yesterday, I crossed over my friend’s writing called “Sunday Thoughts – Complacency“. Somehow, his writing reminds me to keep on track with what I’ve decided when I moved to the new company. So, the writing started with him joining an event with Sandiaga Uno (one of the richest man in Indonesia according on Forbes Magazine) as the speaker. In that event, Sandiaga was talking about the middle class growth in Indonesia; Sandiaga then advising on the audience on how we grow and what should we do in this situation.


Here’s some of his writing:

…in Q&A session, an audience asked to Sandiaga what should Indonesian do differently to be able to compete with another country. Sandiaga said: we should not easily satisfied of ourselves. This satisfaction has caused Indonesian left behind by other country. Indonesian has lulled by the natural wealth and the potentials inside. 

Sandiaga’s answer remind me of what Sri Mulyani said in one of her interview. Sri Mulyani stated her opinion about how Indonesians are easily flattered and motivated; however, the motivation and/or the passion is not long-lasting. Again, satisfaction has been the root cause.

My lecturer once said, most of the time satisfaction has became the biggest obstacle in someone growth. This, usually, caused by no clear objective or target to be achieved. 

For example, when we are at school, we did have a clear objective: as accepted in national university. Then, we would do everything to get there. So is during university periods, we study hard to get high GPA in order to smoothening our career path in a good company. 

Unfortunately, as soon as we are graduated, most of us has lost the objective and target to be achieved.

Only few of us started working with clear objective for our careers. Most of the time, we let everything flow without our control. Unconsciously, we are infected by satisfaction…


Few paragraphs above from the writing reminds me that, I am used to be “in control” (read: had objectives and target) during my school and university years. I’ve to admit that, I am at my best when I know what exactly I wanted. It will be great if you can set the goal as clear as you can; it will be even better if you can put measurable goal. For example, losing weight, when you are stating how much you want to lose, you’ll be doing much much better.


I know this is sounds frightening as goal sounds so ahead in the future. With the world’s current dynamic, I prefer to set “present” goal. I was once confused, making decision on moving has pushed me to set the goal. Now, I have renewed my goal for then next 1-2 years, and it helped me to more focus and know what exactly I am going to do.

Some will ask, what will you do when the goal has been achieved? It’s simple, make another goal, because sky is no longer limit, there is no limit actually. As my friend’s writing, he put Steve Jobs quote: “Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish!”

The original writing is written by Ricky Tjok.

Copied paragraph has been permitted by him as well. Thank you. 🙂

The Bad Guy

I am halfway finishing Amy Chua’s book of “Battle Hymn of The Tiger Mother”. Some of you have heard about the debate around this book in America. Reading this book halfway, make me thinking, what kind of person/mother I will be in the future if I am being responsible for a very big things like raising kids.


Walking in the department stores, regularly, I see a lot of kids running around, nagging to their parents, playing roller skates in the stores, and many other crazy stuff. I am totally not blaming on the kids, because it should be their parents who taught them how to have a good manner, how to act in certain places or situation. I always commented that their parents should scold the kids if they are acting mischievous. Some of my friends would reply “try to be one (parents). You’ll know how hard it is”. Hey, nothing is easy in this world right? We have to give our best shots, because this is one life!

So, I was reading the book halfway; all I could think of is can I be the bad guy? Frankly, I am a person that scared to be hated by the one I loved. Because of this, sometimes I am doing stupid things that I don’t like just to please them. Until I am reading this book, I realized that when something is not good and not supposed to be, I  have to be the bad guy who opposite others. Even if I have to stand alone, I still need to have stay strong on that opinion. This is easier done with friends, but I really don’t know whether I can apply this in the future as well.

I see that many of young parents these days choose to be “the good guy”. They are trying their best to be not hated by the kids, giving what the kids asked for. Well, I am not raised in that way; sometimes I was thinking, maybe because most of the young parents are raised the same way as I am; they are thinking to be different as their parents. Maybe they want to give everything to the kids, so that the kids won’t feel miserables as when they were young. But, life is tough. If you are not learning how to work hard to get what you want since young, you won’t be able to survive in this world.


In my humble opinion, my parents have done a very good job raising kids. We are spoiled but at the same times we are taught-well. I remember clearly how my mom strictly set the rule of no-supper at night, and small-but-enough portion for my meal 3 times daily. She said, too much will never do you good. Beside, I was chubby back then, she said, do you want to be an ugly fat girl? Oh yes, you can guess it, I hated my mom throughout those times. However, when I’ve reached my Junior High and Senior High, I am grateful that my mom had done such things. Sports can be done easier when you’re healthy (not skinny, yet not fatty); clothes are easy to be fit in this figures. You see, she was being a bad guy for 3 of us, different treatment depending our personalities. She had a lot of argument with my dad as he tend to spoil us a lot. But then, 20 years later, we are grateful of what our parents taught us. To be responsible with things, work hard to get what you want, and practically saying “it’s okay to be the bad guy, as long as you know what’s you objective”.


So, do you dare to be “the bad guy” here? We’ll see.



Karawaci, August 27, 2011 – when suddenly inspiration coming like water flowing.

Which one do you choose?

I don’t know how my daughters will look back on all this twenty years from now.

Quoted from “Battle Hymn of The Tiger Mother” – page 91

Everything, even bad ones, has values. Is it a good or bad values? To decide, we will need to ask ourselves, how do we choose to see things. I believed that even unfortunate events has a good values inside it as well.


Amy Chua told us in the book that even they were in vacation, her daughters never skip their practice for piano/violin. Even though it would cause them trip cancellation on the recreation area, she would force her daughters to practice. I am not a mom yet, but as a daughter, in that kind of condition, I would be super-mad to my mom. Because, that was supposed to be vacation, where people supposed to be having fun! Not forced to practice or study!

But then, Amy wrote in her book, will her daughter look back as it was a skipped dinner, skipped recreational time, or not having any playing time; or perhaps, they’ll see it as they play the music in front of the guess as if it was a mini-concert.


Before, I also wrote something about positivity. Why am I keep writing about this things? In short, I need to be reminded, everyday, every minute, every second; that I need to see things in a better way.


Last year, the company I worked for conduct a new organizational structure. My manager had been changed. Before the announcement, many of colleagues have told me a lot of stories about how tough this person is. He worked in a totally different way with others, where many are not surviving. As a new employee, of course I was scared to be assigned after him. But then, when you’re most scared of something, it will be more likely you’ll get it. That’s what happened.

As a person, he is an inspirational guy, care with his team, and willing to help me improve my work. But working with him is tough. While working on some presentation and discussion, I argued quite a lot to him. Sometimes, it felt like you want to hit your own manager as hard as you can be. Sometimes, it felt like you’ve done your best, but it was never enough for him. It was frustrating.

Early this year, he was moving to another division. By then, I reviewed back, with my working experience with him in the past year. Well, sometimes, I am still get mad to him, just thinking of how he treat me like my work is not enough still make me hurt. But, I choose to look at the better side. He taught me a lot of things:

  • Working environment is tough. You’ll need to show off, because your promotion is depending on other’s opinion. No matter how you hate to be on office-politics, but to be seen by other, you need to show off.
  • Details are important. Doing things faster is better, but doing things fast and in details is the best.
  • Keep asking to yourself, is it enough? If you’re the one who will receive the presentation; does the slides/information enough? Does the insight great?

Yes, because of that, I can improve well. Let’s think here, if your manager never disappointed to you, or angry to you, do you think you’re doing great? If you’re so, you’ll never improve, you’ll be left behind; as other has run faster to the goals. When you’ve choose to believe on the other side, it will define your future.

So, which side of coins do you choose?

Karawaci, August 27th, 2011 – with super-sleepy-eyes