I spent 1 year 2 months in the new working place – struggling, laughing, juggling, learning, and knowing tons of new things. And yes, I am finally back. I am literally back, back to write this post, back to the cheerful me, back to the person who appreciate her work so much, and yes, I am back to my previous job.
Did I have fun in the past 1 year 2 months like what I planned to have when I moved to that place? Yes, for sure I did have fun. I met a lot of new people, some inspiring, some annoying, some lovable, some hateful, and many kinds. It made me see the bigger and wider world and point of view. But, to admit it, it wasn’t really my place to be. A lot of people had questioned “Why are you leaving?”; a lot showed a huge surprise – especially when it is not a common practice for someone moving back to agency side. At some points, I were getting tired of answering “because”; but now I will proudly say “Why not?”.
People are sometimes blinded by the paradigm that something stated the best by society is the best as well. But we mostly forget that as an individual, best thing for you or to the world doesn’t mean it is the best thing for me. Best thing for me is getting back to this old but everlasting family of mine.
Of course, the journey of 1 year 2 month had changed me. It’s almost impossible to say I am the same person I was 1.5 years ago. I have adapted with the new environment, and it has changed me into a more individualist person. I don’t hate it but it doesn’t mean I like it that much as well. Being individualist means you have higher ego and arrogance, you somehow somewhat believed that you can only depend on yourself, you think that everybody else is worst than you. In a good way, being individualist mean you have a good confidence level, you are independent, you are able to make decisions. Both good and bad have intrudes my system. It intrudes in a way that I didn’t realize, I brought it up to my current state.
Second week after joining back on this work, my colleagues jokingly said that “Somebody get used to held her chins up”. He is a very good mentor of mine, and I got it immediately that he was reminding me that keeping the bad of being individualistic is not needed here. He mentioned that I was most-likely doing everything on my own, and trying my best to keep on standing on my own feet so hard. And he said, it is a good thing, but don’t forget, “you are not alone here”. Everybody is at everybody’s back. Yes, it made us look like a stalker who want to know everybody’s business, but when we are that close, it wasn’t a stalking at all. It just showed how much people care for you and they will always held you up once you fell down.
After spending 1.5 months, my friend’s statement has just getting truer. Since the day he mentioned “You are not alone”, I realize, I am NEVER alone until now; and I finally started to leave the worst of individualistic, leaving the best one instead.