Hey, it’s been a while since I wrote something here. It’s been a roller coaster journey in the past month, travelled from one place to another, having a Christmas dinner with friends and family. First time spending my Christmas and New Year without being at hometown and surrounded by mom, dad, sister, and brother (but it kind of fun too, you know – I am still missing them though).
Funny thing is, I re-read my blog just now; and well, I learned that somehow my own writing kept reminding me of what I am and what I am supposed to be. Here’s another point of view and story about comparing things:
I am kind of having this bad habit of having a prejudice on things. Of course, prejudice is not coming in a blink of eyes. It came from your own experience, what you’ve done, and what you feel around. Back then, I remembered my mom commented on some cousins who is mature enough to be married. She said: “your cousin is adding age each year, and yet, she hasn’t got married yet. It will be really difficult for her to find a husband.” and then she add: “being on that age, she already have everything she needs, a house, a steady income, good position at work, etc. and this would prevent men to get close to her; as men will feel ‘intimidated'”.
Based on what my mom told me, when I am already at workplace, I think I am going to twist it. I’ll say back then, it is probably not only the men felt intimidated, but it came from my cousins as well, who (I am quite sure) with the additional age and experience each years, will have higher and higher standard. She would compare man to man. The more she get to know a person, the higher the expectation are. As each of the men give a different standard.
Oh yes, it happened to me. Just. Now. And to rethink of it, I was being selfish – TOTALLY selfish. I am doing no justice comparing based on somebody is doing this, and I expect somebody else is doing the same thing as well. I have forgotten that actually, every people are unique in their own way, and they might do something differently, but perhaps they still have the same main goal.
I am setting expectation only based on the ‘maximum’ I’ve ever experienced to everything else. When it doesn’t meet the expectation, I would think that they are not good enough. Oh yes, I am very prejudicial, and really realizing that bad habit. But when I am at the lowest point, I tend to not thinking rationally (I know, this is reason, but I need to be defensive a lil’ bit, too right?). So, I was expecting somebody else do the same, and apparently he didn’t. I was somehow get mad, I talked to another friends about how disappointed I was. After half an hour chanting, whining, and complaining to my friend; I decided to see what this “somebody-else-who-disappoint-me” said in the chat box. Apparently, that particular person have the same goal with what I expected, but that particular person did it in a different way. And to be honest, when I tried to be more open-minded on how these people do things differently, apparently, I am being a better person.
So (am getting serious here 😛 *just kidding*), when you’re comparing things, make sure you’ve the right proportions on pros and cons to be compared. You’ll do justice if you tried to think neutral, instead of taking side on what you’ve preferred. Do justice, everybody need a fair justification.
Karawaci, 3 January 2012 – first post on new year, first bad mood, and got boosted to positive by reading my previous post. 🙂
btw, my cousin did finally get her soulmate 🙂