I am halfway finishing Amy Chua’s book of “Battle Hymn of The Tiger Mother”. Some of you have heard about the debate around this book in America. Reading this book halfway, make me thinking, what kind of person/mother I will be in the future if I am being responsible for a very big things like raising kids.
Walking in the department stores, regularly, I see a lot of kids running around, nagging to their parents, playing roller skates in the stores, and many other crazy stuff. I am totally not blaming on the kids, because it should be their parents who taught them how to have a good manner, how to act in certain places or situation. I always commented that their parents should scold the kids if they are acting mischievous. Some of my friends would reply “try to be one (parents). You’ll know how hard it is”. Hey, nothing is easy in this world right? We have to give our best shots, because this is one life!
So, I was reading the book halfway; all I could think of is can I be the bad guy? Frankly, I am a person that scared to be hated by the one I loved. Because of this, sometimes I am doing stupid things that I don’t like just to please them. Until I am reading this book, I realized that when something is not good and not supposed to be, I have to be the bad guy who opposite others. Even if I have to stand alone, I still need to have stay strong on that opinion. This is easier done with friends, but I really don’t know whether I can apply this in the future as well.
I see that many of young parents these days choose to be “the good guy”. They are trying their best to be not hated by the kids, giving what the kids asked for. Well, I am not raised in that way; sometimes I was thinking, maybe because most of the young parents are raised the same way as I am; they are thinking to be different as their parents. Maybe they want to give everything to the kids, so that the kids won’t feel miserables as when they were young. But, life is tough. If you are not learning how to work hard to get what you want since young, you won’t be able to survive in this world.
In my humble opinion, my parents have done a very good job raising kids. We are spoiled but at the same times we are taught-well. I remember clearly how my mom strictly set the rule of no-supper at night, and small-but-enough portion for my meal 3 times daily. She said, too much will never do you good. Beside, I was chubby back then, she said, do you want to be an ugly fat girl? Oh yes, you can guess it, I hated my mom throughout those times. However, when I’ve reached my Junior High and Senior High, I am grateful that my mom had done such things. Sports can be done easier when you’re healthy (not skinny, yet not fatty); clothes are easy to be fit in this figures. You see, she was being a bad guy for 3 of us, different treatment depending our personalities. She had a lot of argument with my dad as he tend to spoil us a lot. But then, 20 years later, we are grateful of what our parents taught us. To be responsible with things, work hard to get what you want, and practically saying “it’s okay to be the bad guy, as long as you know what’s you objective”.
So, do you dare to be “the bad guy” here? We’ll see.
Karawaci, August 27, 2011 – when suddenly inspiration coming like water flowing.